into the becoming

Everytime that fog lifts, I am grateful. I remember when I never thought I would see it go away, when I thought that it would forever be a part of me...so when it does recede, I am that much more happy.

Do I have a lot of work to do? Oh yes. Am I ready for it? I'm not sure. But, I'm not overwhelmed by it at the moment...so I'm happy with that fact alone.

Someone gave me a compliment the other day...one I've never considered for myself. They said: "...ready to be in the world as someone not looking for anything, but happy in yourself that you dont -need- someone else. I think its the biggest triumph youve ever made. or any woman has ever made that Ive had the privelidge of watching."

We were talking about how my slavery has changed from an external process into an internal one, and how I no longer feel like someone else...has to bring my slavery out. It simply is there, inside me, all the time, and while others can influence how much shows...they cannot influence the fact that it exists.

I wish that I could project that contentment into other areas of myself.