into the becoming

Where to begin, where to begin....

This week has been rough. Rough on a few different levels. Monday and Tuesday i was extremely stressed at work - dealing with the people, the issues that have my hands tied. Wednesday, thankfully, we got 15 inches of snow so i stayed home and hibernated. =) Yesterday was not much better - by 7:30am i'd kicked two people out of my office.

Darrin could tell that something was wrong, we talked about it on Wednesday when we were both home. i tried to explain that the only time i felt "normal" (whatever that is, right?) was when i was home - and that really it was outside sources that were stressing me out.

It was a rough situation because i haven't have an episode like this in awhile...it's disconcerting in many ways. Also...when things like this come up, the normal questions arise - is my new drug not working, etc. i will have to watch myself carefully.

There are a lot of thoughts swirling around inside...my lack of dedication to a healthier lifestyle, my submission...buuuuuut i think i want to nap. Yay.