2nd realization

Why am i so afraid of being alone?

i've been alone before. i've been the type of alone that not many people can imagine. Maybe that's why...i'm terrified of going back there.

i look at people who have what i don't...and something inside me just crumbles. i ache for it. Am i trying too hard? Am i thinking about it too much? Is it something about me that keeps it from happening? Maybe i'm not smart enough, or interesting enough, or attractive enough, or thin enough, or...

.....maybe i'm too fucking dramatic. >.< There it is, that's why i'm not owned. Owners don't want a fucking drama queen, they want a slave.

i can't stop the ache, though. i'm so happy for the people who have found it, but...i ache.

Please find me.