Wednesday, May 30, 2007

8:41am

Okay, so. i haven't been doing the greatest with my "life-change." Of course the vacation was in there, and it's not like i've been gorging myself everyday...but i can definitely notice a change. i feel heavier, and not just weight-wise. i've been making okay decisions, but some of them could have been better. ALRIGHT. A lot better. Dammit.

i don't know if this has anything to do with it at all, but...a few days ago, i just really got sick of taking care of people. Sometimes i get this way - where it seems like everything i do, every word out of my mouth is to make sure others are okay, to make their days better, to do whatever i can for other people. And...well, i just got tired of it. No matter what i said, i felt like it was for someone else's benefit - placating someone, reassuring someone, making their mood better, etc. So maybe if i got sick of taking care of other people...maybe i got sick of taking care of myself and just kind of...put it on the back burner for a bit. i dunno. i don't feel hopeless, or like i've ruined my chances...but i know i need to get back on track.

i need help, but i don't know what kind of help i need.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean about taking care of other people to the detriment of yourself. Just remember you are important and need to look after yourself first, though.

Iron Budokan

me said...

-soft hugs-

amina, i so can relate to your situation esp r/t. Take a breather from the others for a few days and put the focus back on you. -smiles-
They will understand! -winks-

Thinking about you, sweetie!

Tigress said...

There's a scenario that comes to mind: when flying, they always say be sure to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before trying to put it on your loved ones- the logic being, if you pass out, you are no help to anyone. *grins* Apply that to life too, you have to take care of yourself- I've found that I'm much better able to take care of and help others when I myself feel like my needs are met and I'm feeling happy and healthy! *hugsss*