into the becoming

Foods eaten: banana, yogurt, soup, turkey breast wrap, chips, lemonade and cashews.

Total caloric intake: 750

Exercise: 30 mins on bike, 1/2 mile walk, office work

Calories burned: 2711

Current weight: 258

6:33am

"Yao-shan was sitting quietly in cross-legged meditation when a monk asked him, "In this immovable position, what are you thinking?"

"Thinking of that which is beyond thinking," said Yao.

"How do you go on thinking that which is beyond thinking?" pressed the monk.

"By not-thinking." - Zen Mondo

Yesterday on my way home, i saw a herd of at least 15-20 deer grazing in a cornfield no more than 100 yards away from the highway. It was beautiful to see, but it's also a bit scary...if they are grazing so close to the highway, that means they are more likely to CROSS the highway. Deer + car = dead frog.

i've only hit a deer once in my life, and i got extremely lucky...i actually hit two of them at once (can't help it, i'm an overachiever), but the one bounced off the other, and the other ended up catching under my car instead of crashing through my windshield. my little Saturn L200 has been dubbed "The Deerslayer." =/

i did notice something interesting yesterday. i've been a little...emotional lately, but ever since i started this new life, i've almost switched my reactions around. For instance...before (and still sometimes now, it's a hard habit to break), when i would get emotional, i would eat. Comfort foods for me are things like...macaroni and cheese. Rice. Pancakes, muffins, cake...those are the things i have cravings for now. But now...like yesterday, i was pretty emotional - and i didn't eat a damn thing until noon. And even then, i felt nauseous. i didn't even think about food, other than a passing thought that i should eat my banana - but i got busy and forgot.

i saved today's Zen quote because i often need to remember that. i get too bogged down in the thinking, the processing, the considering. Often i'll discover things even if i don't spend time thinking about it, or at least not actively thinking about it...so i need to do a little "not-thinking"...especially now.