into the becoming

Brace yourself. i'm going to be maudlin.

i have a great ache inside me. i miss being owned. Have i ever truly been owned? Not truly. But...even though i don't know exactly what it is, i miss it.

And i wonder now, if i'm simply missing an idea that's planted in my head, or if it's something deeper and truly ingrained in me.

i miss the quiet confidence surrounding me and comforting me when i feel so chaotic.

i miss the silent strength that doesn't need to speak in order for me to know, with no doubt, the power that comes from it.

i miss the intense scrutiny, even though it makes me uncomfortable...because it shows me that every inch of me is hunted.

i miss being hunted, period. i miss sinking into my animal, trying to survive beneath a power much greater than me, fighting until their dominance is proven and surrendering gratefully.

i miss the control. i miss hands in my hair, a cock in my mouth, my body responding without thought. i miss being wanted with a brutal desire that leaves my lips swollen, my face red, streaked with tears, slathered with cum and slapped with bruises.

i miss the binding. All of it. Mental, physical, emotional. Tie my wrists, cuff my ankles, close my throat while thrusting inside me. Cage my body and let my soul free. Watch as i change behind the bars, becoming more animal than woman. Leash me, use heavy metal to weigh me down, and watch my face glow.

Is there anyone....anyone who can do this? i'm beginning to doubt.