into the becoming

Foods eaten: 1 pear, 1 tilapia filet, green beans, salad with french dressing, cottage cheese, dinner roll

Total caloric intake: 554

Exercise: 30 minutes on bike

Calories burned: 946

Current weight: 265

i'm beginning to realize more and more who my friends really are. Now that my eyes are open to so much, now that i can see my behavior for what it was, it seems like i can also see the behavior of others more clearly.

Clarity is an amazing thing, really. When you're ready for it.

i'm amazed at myself, actually...even through all the crap i've been through lately, through all the sludge i'm bringing up and dealing with, i feel pretty good. Not in the moment of sludge-regurgitation, obviously...but in a general, all around kind of way. i feel calm...maybe even confident? Holy crap, that'd be a first. Is there even such a thing as a confident frog?

It's the calm feeling that amazes me. It's almost like...i want to capture it and hold it up and stare at it, touch it to make sure it's real.

*poke*